Solace
by evilnekohilda
Summary: CH7 NOTE UP 4x2 angst - Quatre is content with his life until one night an unexpected guest comes to his room. What is this feeling, and why is the new object of his affection acting so strange?
1. A Knock at the Door

This is my first GW fanfiction, and my first fanfiction that looks like I know where I'm going with it. Wheeooo - R&R, but please don't laugh at it!! Thankies.  
  
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Author: Hilda  
  
Title: Solace  
  
Warnings: shounen ai, fluffiness; later on, you will be treated to a hearty helping of angst, self-injuryetc etc.  
  
Pairings: hints of 1x2 in the beginning - 2x4 later on  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing - surprise, surprise. Don't sue me or poor little Quatre will cry!!  
  
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A small blonde figure shifted within his bed, readjusting the book that was awkwardly propped on his lap. The boy called Quatre had been enthralled by the literature for some time, and it surprised him when he finally looked up to find his room considerably darker than when he had last 'seen' it. Turning around he gazed out the windows and was me with a lovely full moon. Sighing happily, Quatre gazed into the darkness for a minute, then turned back to his room.  
  
The small blonde rolled over to the other side of the bed to glance at the display on the digital clock - 1:33 [1]. The red numbers flashed menacingly as if daring him to go back to reading rather than being a good little boy and going to sleep. Quatre settled back into the pillows, not quite ready to drift into dreams.  
  
Listening to the quiet, it registered with him that the other pilots staying in the large house must have turned in early as well. Not that 1:33 was early by Quatre's standards - it was just that ever since the war had ended, the other boys had been much more laid back and as a result, inclined to sacrifice a little sleep for a good bit of fun. Apparently the behavior had caught up with them, because the house continued to lie in silence. For once, Quatre couldn't hear the steady rumble of the television, nor the drunken pounding of Duo serenading the others with a bizarre concoction of a song. The blonde boy had to stifle a giggle at the thought of Duo. The last time Heero had let him near a bottle, the braided pilot had banged on the large piano until the poor antique had come un- tuned - Duo hadn't remembered a thing the next day.  
  
This time Quatre couldn't suppress his giggling - Duo always made him laugh, no matter how serious of a mood might be plaguing him. His laughter suddenly morphed into a yawn, and Quatre directed his stare at the clock once more - 1:59. It seemed as if the clock itself was becoming weary, the angry red glow reduced to a half-hearted warning of regret come morning. Smiling thoughtfully at the time piece, Quatre closed his book and carefully set it on the nightstand. With a contented sigh, he settled down into the sheets of the oversized bed. It was so nice to be warm and secure beneath the blankets. If fact, he almost wished he could share it with someone. He quickly shook his head, laughing again, this time at his own absurd thoughts.  
  
"Obviously I'm more tired than I realized, letting such silly thoughts pass through my head." Quatre assured himself. It was enough just being together with all his friends - he shouldn't be asking anything more, especially such frivolous things as intimate love.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Quatre reached over for the switch to turn off the light. However, just as he was about to flip the switch, there was a soft knock at his door.  
  
Flinching, he began apologizing to whatever servant was on the other side of the door, assuming that they had seen his light and were wanting to know if their "Master" was all right. Before he got far, he heard a voice, very soft and distant, coming from the hallway:  
  
"Quatre, it's me - I'm sorry to bother you, but, well, may I come in?"  
  
TBC (actually, I have the next three pieces written out, I'm just too lazy to type them up right now)  
  
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[1] - This time was picked for a reason - it's the exact time that I started writing this fic, and yes, my digital clock does have a menacing red stare ^_^;;  
  
Well, that really sucked, but have no fear - the story gets a little more interesting ^_~ It's tame compared to stuff I usually read ^^;; but if I have any success at all, I promise to make it less, ::ahem:: conservative (like I would be content to stay within the bounds I've set so far ::laughs::). Thanks again! - Hilda 


	2. Welcoming an Unexpected Guest

Author: Hilda  
  
Title: Solace  
  
Warnings: shounen ai, fluffiness; later on, you will be treated to a hearty helping of angst, self-injury etc etc.  
  
Pairings: hints of 1x2 in the beginning - 2x4 later on  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing - surprise, surprise. Don't sue me or poor little Quatre will cry!!  
  
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"Quatre, it's me - I'm sorry to bother you, but, well, may I come in?"  
  
Surprised, Quatre sat straight up in bed and stammered in the direction of the door: "Of, of course Duo, come in."  
  
The door was pushed open slowly to reveal Duo in simple black pajamas, his hair hanging free, cascading down his back. His eyes were hidden, half by shadows, half by auburn bangs. Quatre noted the absence of Duo's usual goofy grin - something was definitely wrong.  
  
"Duo, are you all right? Are you feeling well? Is there anything I can do for you?" the blonde asked urgently.  
  
Duo's hidden eyes seemed to be watching the floor as he spoke quietly. "Heero kicked me out of his room." He said it bluntly and without emotion - what Quatre could see of his face was unreadable.  
  
The blonde boy wore an expression of understanding. He had assumed that the two pilots had been sharing a room, what with how close they had become lately. Quatre was about to say some supportive words, but Duo spoke first.  
  
"I'm really sorry to bother you like this, but could I ask a favor of you.?" he trailed off hopefully. Trying not to seem too taken aback by Duo's politeness, the small blonde responded instantly with emphatic nodding. "Oh yes, anything Duo, all you have to do is ask."  
  
Quatre could barely keep his jaw from dropping as he witnessed pink embarrassment spreading across Duo's cheeks. It was so out of character for him to be acting in such a roundabout manner!  
  
"Well, er, you see." the shadowy pilot stumbled, shifting nervously. "I couldn't go to Trowa of Wu Fei about this, but I knew you'd understand, umm." He stopped again, took a deep breath and forced his thoughts out into the open.  
  
"Quatre, could I stay in here tonight? I promise it'll just be one night. I just don't want to go back to my old room right now."  
  
Duo looked up and for the first time, the boys' eyes met. Quatre smiled understandingly and answered softly: "Of course - it would be a great honor to sacrifice my bed for the likes of Shinigami."  
  
Duo's face went that bizarre shade of red again. "No, no, no - don't get up," he stammered as the blonde moved to get out of bed. "If you could just scoot over a little bit. I'm really sorry. really - if you just give me a little bit of room on one side, I promise I'll be out of your way by morning."  
  
He stumbled forward as Quatre moved away from the clock that had held his attention earlier. Duo shuffled over to the other side and climbed in. The young Master watched worriedly as the black clad boy curled up into a ball on the far edge of the bed, facing the wall.  
  
With one last glance at Duo, Quatre flicked off the light and the two were bathed in darkness.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ [1]  
  
Whether it was seconds or minutes or hours later, Quatre didn't know. Troublesome thoughts kept tugging at his brain, keeping him awake as he tried to answer their incessant questions. No matter how many times he went over it in his head, he simply could not figure out why Duo had been so timid in asking for help. Could Heero have really said or done something so bad that it had stolen the smile from Duo's face?  
  
Quatre fidgeted. Maybe the braid-wearing pilot had been drinking.  
  
Quatre leaned in close to Duo so as not to disturb the sleeping boy. Propping himself up on his elbows, he made to sniff the pilots breath, but was instead left with a very unsettling sight indeed.  
  
Tears were streaming down the curled up pilot's face, and his face was contorted in an expression of anguish. His hands were resting by his face on the pillows, but were balled up into fists, his fingernails scraping deep into the palms. Also, just visible in the moonlit room were red, raised scars on Duo's pale, barely exposed wrists. Quatre's eyes grew even wider at this last observation. It barely even registered with him that there was no alcohol to be smelled about the boy. He did know that something was very wrong.  
  
Suddenly the brown haired pilot's body shuddered with an audible sob, and began to shake uncontrollably with smaller ones.  
  
Quatre didn't know what to do - he searched his mind frantically for something to do to help, but his brain could come up with nothing. Duo was still shaking - he had to do something - he couldn't take seeing a friend like this.  
  
Slowly, nervously, Quatre allowed his instincts to take over. His arms snaked around the distressed pilot, and to his great surprise, Duo calmed, just slightly. The blonde thought of something that surprised him even further.  
  
Carefully, deliberately, he hugged the pilot to him, curving his own body around Duo protectively. Quatre kissed Duo gently on the top of his head, almost like a mother would, trying to further ease the sobs.  
  
Still immersed in fitful sleep, Duo opened his mouth in a pained gasp, as if searching for another mouth to answer and comfort his own. When there was no reply, he began to sob again, whimpering slightly.  
  
Quatre nervously rolled the pilot onto his back and debated whether not he should. He'd never kissed anyone like that before - what if he did it wrong? Upon processing this latest series of thoughts, Quatre realized that he was actually considering it - he really wanted to kiss Duo, to ease his pain, even if it was only for a moment. "And he probably won't remember a thing in the morning anyway." he assured himself in his head.  
  
He closed his eyes and slowly brought his lips to meet those of Duo. The anguished look vanished from his face, replaced by a peaceful expression as he calmed completely in Quatre's arms. The blonde breathed, then went back for another gentle kiss.  
  
The blonde had honestly never felt so happy in his entire life - to be able to comfort someone else and himself simultaneously, to fill this strange void deep in his chest that he had never been consciously aware of until that moment.  
  
A few more seconds and the kiss was done. Quatre let Duo curl back up into his previous sleeping position and once more he conformed to the sleeping boy, smiling this time. He hugged Duo close to him, unable to resist the urge to never let go again.  
  
Suddenly, Duo whispered something barely audible in his sleep. Quatre blinked and smiled.  
  
He could see the red glow of the clock, but couldn't see the actual time - of course, he had no intention of getting up to check for details. Instead he allowed himself to bury his face in the Duo's hair and drift off to sleep, the brunette pilot's groggy words ringing in his head:  
  
"thank you."  
  
TBC  
  
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[1] - I had originally cut off the section there, but I decided to go ahead and post a longer chapter instead of a tiny, annoying section of sorts. Oh, and sorry about the first chapter being so short - I know how irking it is to take the time to start reading a story only to find that the author is a lazy bum.  
  
Well, that was a painful piece of work, ne? I usually write better than this, but since my experience lies in poetry and creative writing, it's a little hard for me to adjust to pre-existing characters and guidelines. Just try and bear with me for a little longer!! - Hilda 


	3. Worry

Author: Hilda  
  
Title: Solace  
  
Warnings: shounen ai, fluffiness; later on, you will be treated to a hearty helping of angst, self-injury etc etc.  
  
Pairings: 2x4 (more so later on)  
  
Disclaimer: ::holds up Gundam Wing:: You actually think I own this? You silly people... Anyways, don't sue me or poor little Quatre will cry (and then I'll come kick you until *you* cry) ::blinks::  
  
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Bright sunshine fell in through the windows of Quatre's room. Two bodies were snuggling within the sheets, sound with sleep, and peaceful silence lay thick upon the air.  
  
The blonde boy had not relinquished his unexpected visitor for one moment during the night, hugging Duo protectively in his arms. A serene smile was shared by both.  
  
It was Quatre who awoke first, an early riser by nature. After furrowing his brow for a few seconds, his sleepy mind began to recall the events of the early morning hours. Duo had come to his room and asked to sleep there for the night. The blonde had agreed, but once he had turned out the lights...  
  
Quatre's eyes snapped open as his thoughts came to a frantic conclusion -  
  
He had kissed Duo.  
  
Twice.  
  
He had kissed Duo, while the boy was asleep, and had found... he had found solace.  
  
With some effort, Quatre came to the conclusion that the whole thing was real. No matter how hard he willed it to be a dream, the emotion was real...  
  
Blinking, the pilot shook himself from his thoughts only to find that he still clutched the boy that haunted him. Quatre panicked and pulled away, trying to distance himself, trying to erase the "proof" of his actions. Duo stirred slightly, but somehow remained immersed in sleep. With a great deal of caution, the small boy sat up, then got out of bed. He forced himself to suppress the strange feeling that squeezed his heart as he gazed down at the sleeping Duo.  
  
Just as Quatre was about to turn away, another thought hit him with disturbing force - "What if Duo remembers everything?"  
  
Possessed by this frightening concept, Quatre began to wring his hands nervously. He stared anxiously at the brunette pilot, as if willing him to not remember those strange things that had come to pass mere hours ago. Pressing his lips together in a preoccupied line, Quatre forced himself to look away - it wouldn't do to have Duo wake up to find him distant and staring.  
  
Taking a deep breath, the blonde strode over to his dresser, quietly extracted a suitable set of clothes, and, after shutting his bedroom door, headed for the bathroom.  
  
It took only a few absent minded strides and he was there. Quatre closed the door of the modest bathroom with a sigh of relief. Though making an admirable effort at remaining calm, he wasn't sure how much longer he could remain reasonable, what with questions and possible scenarios playing out in his mind. Deciding that a hot shower might offer a little comfort, Quatre quickly stepped to the bath faucet and turned on the water.  
  
Once the temperature was to his satisfaction, the blonde stripped off his pajamas and stepped inside. Although the hot water was quite successful in waking him up, the effects on Quatre's disjointed thinking weren't quite as positive. The beating of the droplets on and around him even seemed to spur further irrational thought.  
  
"What if Duo remembers everything? What if he knows I kissed him? What if he tells Heero I kissed him and Heero comes and kills me?"  
  
Quatre's innocent eyes grew wide at this last thought, and it took a lot of coaxing before his rational side could convince him that Heero wouldn't come after him with an automatic weapon. Breathing slowly, Quatre stared down at the porcelain tub as if it held the secrets of the universe. A nasty little voice in his head pushed forward a scarily feasible thought that try as he might, Quatre couldn't counter -  
  
"What if Duo doesn't want to talk to me, or even see me anymore?"  
  
This thought scared Quatre most of all, for he couldn't bear the thought of loosing a friend, especially on account of such a glaring mistake as this...  
  
Suddenly flooded with an uncharacteristic anger, the small boy tried to resist the urge to smack his head against the tiled wall. He began muttering to himself, incoherent thoughts running together and repeating in an endless loop that he had no option but to voice -  
  
"What a completely idiotic thing to do! What kind of uncalled for, exceedingly bizarre comfort was I trying to offer? How could I have *ever* been so stupid. I should have never been so dense as to try to help him. What happened was completely and totally unacceptable..."  
  
The blonde realized that he had been standing in the warm water for quite some time, probably longer than was really necessary. Shutting off the comforting spray, Quatre stepped out onto the smooth floor and began to towel himself off. Securing the cloth around his middle with one hand, Quatre reached over the counter to wipe off the foggy mirror with the other.  
  
Staring placidly at his reflection, the boy forced himself to take a few more steadying breathes. There was nothing he could do now except wait and see if Duo was as heavy a sleeper as Quatre hoped he was.  
  
Grabbing the clothes that he had brought in with him, Quatre dressed amongst the humidity. He usually performed this task in the comfortable open spaces of his room, but he had decided it was best to dress in privacy on this day [1]. Making sure that all was in order, he tossed his pajamas into the hamper and walked out of the bathroom [2].  
  
As he made his way down the hall, the small blonde pilot couldn't help but stop outside his bedroom. Furrowing his brow again, he opened the door just a crack. From what he could see, Duo was still sleeping. Quatre squinted over at the clock and could just make out that it was 7:21. He shut the door quietly and made his way down to the kitchen, perhaps walking a little faster than he really needed to on this normally laid back morning.  
  
"thank you..." - those had been Duo's words. Quatre once more suppressed the rising sentiment of dread he felt associated with the coming day. The blonde told himself that these words had little meaning - Duo had been having a dream, and if he remembered the kiss at all, then he would probably associate it with this phenomenon of unconscious thought. Maybe he was even having a dream about Heero...  
  
Quatre oriented himself, and realized that he had nearly passed the entrance to the kitchen and casual dining area. He walked inside and was satisfied to see that despite the nervous hindrances of the morning, he was still the first one up. No idle chatter to deal with just yet...  
  
A servant walked in and made as if she was going to boil water for morning coffee or tea. Quatre waved her off kindly. "Don't worry, I can do it myself, Isabelle - I need something to do while I wait for the others, after all." He gave her a genuine smile and the servant bowed thankfully towards him. "If there is anything you need, Master, you know where to find me..." The small boy nodded and watched her retreating back.  
  
Quatre moved to perform the task that the servant Isabelle had passed to him. Once again, he had to force more nervous thoughts back down. Sighing, he filled a teapot with water and put it on a front burner of the stove.  
  
"I can't be so self-centered like that, only thinking of myself and worrying on what will become of me..."  
  
At this, one thought almost seemed to light up in his head - there was something else that had happened during those early morning hours... Quatre was sure that there was something about Duo that was odd, something that it was vital Quatre remembered. However, try as he might, the kind pilot couldn't recall what it had been, and had no time to ponder further - foot steps were coming down the hallway towards the kitchen.  
  
Soon, everyone would be awake, and Quatre would have to distract himself all together from the subject to keep from looking suspicious.  
  
"That's right," he whispered softly to himself as the footsteps drew nearer. "I'll just act like nothing happened. There will be time enough to worry about things come evening."  
  
WuFei walked in and Quatre flashed him an energetic smile. WuFei just shook his head in disbelief as if wondering how anyone could be so cheerful after getting up...  
  
TBC  
  
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[1] - Hrm, I wasn't quite sure how well that sequence would go over, so I put in a bit of explanation that I hadn't originally planed on. Essentially, I made Quatre follow the same customs as I normally do - If I'm by myself, at my own house, then I get dressed in my room. If there's some miscellaneous visitor in the house or I'm at a friend's, then I dress in the bathroom ::shrugs:: I was just thinking about how annoying it is to get dressed in my tiny little bathroom... You all probably don't even think this little note was necessary, but oh well.  
  
[2] - Do any of you have hampers? Where do you put them?? ^_^;; At my house, you just pitch dirty clothes in the general direction of the laundry room and hope someone is nice enough to wash them for you ^_^;;;  
  
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For all of those under the mistaken impression that just because I disappeared for a week means I was working on the story, I'd like to clarify my situation. Last week was Thanksgiving vacation from school, so obviously I had a little extra time on my hands. I was also temporarily insane because I thought that I might be able to regularly update a fanfic of sorts. It was for these reasons, and the magic of the early morning hours coupled with sugar/coffee, that this fic came in to being. I guess all I'm trying to say is that I go through hell every week with school, and I may have to slow my update schedule down by quite a bit. At this point, I need to actually write the next chapter, which will take time - I hope to have it up next week, but don't be surprised if I have to put it off longer.  
  
Oh, and for all who think that the whole Quatre kissing Duo while Duo was sleeping was weird - I had my fsdking reasons ^_^ I guess I wanted to portray the paternal/maternal side of Quatre. I thought it would be a cute, spur of the moment thing that all you shounen-ai/yaoi fan girls would appreciate. I hate to get all defensive, but you have no idea how large of an inferiority complex I've got going on, and how guilty I felt knowing that I failed to express my intentions clearly... Sorry about the LaurenRant -_-;; 


	4. Breakfast with Shinigami

Author: Hilda  
  
Title: Solace  
  
Warnings: shounen ai, fluffiness, annoying nervous ranting; later on, you will be treated to some nice angst, self-injury etc., etc.  
  
Pairings: 2x4 (more so later on); 1+2 in this chapter  
  
Disclaimer: ::holds up Gundam Wing:: You actually think I own this? You silly people... Anyways, don't sue me or poor little Quatre will cry, and then I will damn you to eternal suffering. Archive: If you *really* want it, sure - just e-mail me and tell me what the heck to do... ^_^ Author's Note: My fragile psyche doesn't appreciate flames, so if it's not **constructive** criticism, please keep it to yourself...  
  
//blahblah// = thoughts, because I'm lazy/irregular  
  
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It was another 15 minutes before Trowa walked in. He was stoic as always but managed to exchange a few greetings with Quatre and Wufei before pulling out some cereal.  
  
Heero arrived next, about 5 minutes later.  
  
Quatre forced himself to smile brightly and offer a friendly word. "Good morning, Heero!" The perfect soldier nodded to him, which was actually more than the blonde had expected. Even Trowa coughed in the absence of Heero's normal Good Morning Glare.  
  
After getting over this bizarre occurrence, the four pilots settled down for breakfast. The servants brought out toast, eggs, and juice to coincide with the cereal and fruit that the boys had already ferreted out. It was hardly unusual to begin the morning meal without Duo - in fact, they had all pondered at one point or another whether or not the braided pilot would even recognize an egg since he was so prone to sleeping right through breakfast.  
  
//In fact,// Quatre thought to himself as he listened to the quiet munching of food and the rustle of newspaper sections being exchanged across the table. //In fact, breakfast is really the only "silent" meal we have...//  
  
Quatre had never known the silence to be this uncomfortable before, but of course, the real cause of his unease was quite atypical...  
  
The blonde sighed and furrowed his eyebrows as he squinted down, trying once more to read the document in front of him - it was, at best, a mediocre article on various political issues. Just as he was finishing the grammatical horror that was the second paragraph, a hand was informally brought down on his shoulder.  
  
Quatre jumped and emitted a small squeak before turning around to see who had managed to sneak up on him. Eyes growing wide, he saw it was Duo.  
  
Yes, Duo Maxwell - the comatose, you-wake-me-up-before-noon-and-I'll-shoot- you, Duo.  
  
The braided pilot removed his hand from Quatre's shoulder, letting it fall to his black-pajama-clad side.  
  
"Sorry Q-man - didn't mean to freak you out. Ya' just looked like you were going to burn holes in that poor newspaper with the glare you were given it..." Duo looked around at the others and was met with three more sets of amazed eyes. The braided pilot brought up his hand again, this time as if shielding himself from their penetrating stares.  
  
"Dammit, you guys, you'd think I had a third arm sticking out of my forehead!" Quatre managed a small smile and a feeble laugh, but Shinigami was too distracted by the sight of food to notice these weak attempts at normal behavior. Striding around the good-sized table, he took the empty seat between Heero and Wufei.  
  
The solitary dragon had regained some form of composure, summoning back his familiar icy glance to replace the highly unbecoming stunned gaze. Heero, however, continued to look uncharacteristically disturbed by Duo's presence in the living world so early in the morning. The perfect soldier's mouth was even hanging slightly ajar, betraying his shock to the room.  
  
Duo's mouth, on the other hand, was currently occupied by an over-large bite of toast. However, that didn't stop him from placing a slightly crumb- laden kiss on Heero's cheek, followed by a seductive wink as the braided boy reached for the dish of eggs. Blushing, the perfect soldier quickly brushed off lingering evidence of toast and hid himself behind Quatre's abandoned paper.  
  
Trowa continued on his cereal like nothing had happened, and after a none- too-discreet snort, Wufei went back to sulking and sipping tea. Quatre would've laughed at the whole exchange if he weren't so nervous.  
  
After piling his plate high with enough food to feed three people, Duo glanced cheerfully around at the others. Another few seconds of silence passed before pilot 02 let loose an audible, slightly offended sigh. "Geez, you guys are sooo boring - no wonder I stay in bed instead of coming down here. I've had more interesting meals in the company of rocks..."  
  
Wufei, who had been irritated ever since Duo had invaded his few precious moments of solitude, took this obnoxious comment as a direct affront of his honor [1].  
  
"Maxwell," he hissed, turning towards the grinning, purple-eyed pilot. "Since you've been so good as to grace us with your presence on this formerly enjoyable morning, perhaps *you* should choose the topic of conversation instead of pushing this responsibility on others."  
  
Heero coughed from behind his papers, Trowa blinked his one visible eye, Quatre went an unnatural pale color, and Wufei just continued to twitch and look disagreeable. Deathscythe's pilot smiled evilly as he faced the justice-crazed young man.  
  
"So, 'Fei - you think it's unfair, or, *unjust* as you would say, for me to just show up and expect everyone to entertain me, is that it?"  
  
Wufei just stared petulantly at his teacup, trying to suppress the new wave of rage that had passed through him at being called "'Fei".  
  
Duo's devious smile widened - what he said next surprised everyone at the table in one way or another.  
  
"OK then - I'd like to inform you all of a little something that happened last night..."  
  
Both Trowa and Wufei were both a little taken aback by the fact that Duo made no further cracks about injustice or the dragon's honor. Pilot 04's face had gone from the sick pale color to one slightly chartreuse. Quatre had never been so scared in his life - even in the bloodiest of Gundam battles he had had more composure than he did now. The grim anticipation of what would happen next was simply unbearable.  
  
Duo picked this moment to cram down another piece of toast, leaving the other pilots hanging - Quatre wondered if this topic was worrying Heero too.  
  
//After all, he only knows that last night he kicked Duo out of his room, a fact that requires acknowledging the two of them had in fact been sharing a room// Of course, the stoic soldier was still hiding behind his newspaper, so there was no way for Quatre to even try to read him.  
  
Duo swallowed and looked around, seemingly prepared to enlighten everyone of the early morning events. //Here it comes...// thought Quatre, bracing himself for the verbal impact.  
  
"Guys - believe it or not, I met an angel last night..."  
  
Trowa raised an eyebrow at this, but Duo, sighing with an unusually contemplative look in his eyes, continued without noticing.  
  
"I guess it must've been a dream, but it felt so real. I was trapped in this weird black void - I think I must've been falling, because there was this horrible, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach... but anyway, this beautiful blonde angel came and held me up. Then I realized that the dark wasn't so bad anymore and, this angel, he pulled me right up close to him, and then, then he kissed me."  
  
Wufei snorted into his tea but didn't say anything. Duo just continued in his strange trance.  
  
"Then I did the silliest thing and actually tried to thank this being that had saved me, but then I realized that he was already gone... I don't remember what happened after that, though..."  
  
Everyone at the table was staring at Duo again, but his distant gaze didn't notice them.  
  
Suddenly, a feeble laugh escaped the barrier of Quatre's teeth. The blonde couldn't help it. Relief - warm, comforting relief was spreading throughout his tense body and he just couldn't keep the laughter from coming. His eyes watered slightly, but he still realized through blurred vision that everyone at the table was now shooting *him* the questionable looks, including Heero who had abandoned his paper safe house at the mention of Duo's "angel".  
  
Shaking his head slightly, Duo focused his eyes on the shaking pilot and spoke in an odd voice to top off his strange behavior.  
  
"You know what, my angel looked a lot like you, Quat..."  
  
Quatre stopped laughing and, turning a bright red color, attempted to meet Duo with a level gaze. The braided pilot studied him for a second, as if trying to put together the pieces of a puzzle.  
  
//Please, don't let him remember...// Quatre was sure he must look desperate, but he didn't care.  
  
The brunette flashed a small smile at Quatre, and then began to laugh himself, grinning as he leaned back in his chair.  
  
"I guess dreams are just weird like that, don't you think, Hee-chan?" Heero jumped and flushed again at this embarrassing title, then, muttering something about having reports to type, he retreated from the room. Duo cackled evilly and began to shovel down the food that had been left neglected on his plate.  
  
Wufei promptly stood up and left as well, but only after throwing out an insult about "Maxwell's questionable masculinity" Shinigami, who had finished eating in record time, pranced out of the room after him, cooing, calling out for "Wu-chan".  
  
"Really, it's OK that Chinese guys swing that way!" he called out in a deceptively sweet voice.  
  
This was followed by an enraged cry of "GET YOUR TAINTED HANDS OFF OF ME, BAKA!!"  
  
"You know you want it, 'Fei-'Fei~!!  
  
::squeak:: "INJUSTICE"  
  
Trowa blinked and got up to clear the table. A small smile twitched at the corners of his mouth as Quatre, letting loose another relieved sigh, spoke in an amused tone.  
  
"It's going to be a long morning..."  
  
TBC  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
[1] - Really, injustice so early in the morning ^_^ I love Wufei ::hugs Wufei and is greeted by thrashing arms and shouts of "NOOO - INFERIOR WOMAN, DO NOT DARE TOUCH ME":: He loves me too, really - eheheheh... I like the extremes of his character - since calm Wufei didn't really satisfy the chapter's needs, I used touchy/insane Wufei - It's also fun to piss him off, sooo, yeah.  
  
Hilda: ^_^ ::glomp:: Wu-chan: _  
  
~ *~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
Well, that was an insanely long chapter that didn't really advance the plot much ^_^ I wrote most of it this morning, and then spent this evening typing it up - It took a hella long time, so I hope *someone* enjoys it... 


	5. Life and Roses

Author: Hilda  
  
Title: Solace  
  
Warnings: shounen ai, fluffiness, annoying nervous ranting; later on, you will be treated to some nice angst, self-injury etc., etc.  
  
Pairings: 2x4 (more so later on)  
  
Disclaimer: *points to Gundam Wing* ...no, just no.  
  
Archive: If you are delusional and for some reason want it, sure - just e- mail me and tell me what the heck to do... n_n;;  
  
Author's Note: My fragile psyche doesn't appreciate flames, so if it's not **constructive** criticism, please keep it to yourself...  
  
//blahblah// = random thoughts, because I'm lazy/irregular - they won't be marked like that if they fit into the narration...  
  
[5]  
  
The rest of the morning had passed in an uneventful manner. Wufei had managed to escape to his room and lock the door and windows before Shinigami could maul him to death. Trowa had disappeared as per usual, and Duo was presumably off torturing Heero, his other source of glee. For once in his life, Quatre was beginning to wish the brunette terrorist would bother him...  
  
The blond boy sighed, barely visible behind a stack of Winner paperwork. " I wonder if I've ever been this bored in my life..." he mused quietly to himself, resting the pale face on his left hands upturned palm. His right hand was currently occupied with trying to master the elusive "Pen Flip" that his sister's Debate friends had once tried to teach him [1]. Instead of twirling gracefully around his thumb as it was supposed to, the stubborn writing utensil was being repeatedly dropped to the desk, floor, and anywhere else other that back into his waiting hand. Quatre sighed again, set the battered pen down, and began to twist idly in his desk chair. "I bet it's really nice outside," he commented, a slight hint of disdain in his voice as he looked back at the large-paned window behind him. Getting up, he moved to where the sunlight danced through the curtains.  
  
Looking out, Quatre was met with the superbly maintained gardens of his main estate. He could see that the crimson roses were in full bloom and were as beautiful as they had been in years past. Smiling pleasantly to himself, Quatre let his head rest against the cool windowpane, allowing for just a few more moments of relaxation. Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply and let his mind unfocus. Just when the knot of tension was finally working itself from his stomach, someone sighed loudly behind him. Quatre's eyes open wide as he jumped and turned to find Duo settling himself into the desk chair.  
  
"D-duo! You scared me - I wasn't expecting anyone..." A small gasp passed his delicate lips. "...Are you alright?" Quatre gazed nervously into Duo's slightly clouded eyes. The braided pilot fell lax in the chair and began to turn in bored circles.  
  
"I'm okay..."  
  
The worn chair screeched unpleasantly through the silence as Duo turned again and again, focusing on the ground and drumming his fingers absentmindedly on the leather. The blonde, heart still beating faster than could be deemed normal, watched Shinigami... It was impossible to read his down-turned face. The blonde continued to watch his as an uncomfortable silence fell upon the room, penetrated only by the methodic creaking of the chair. As the chair swung around to face Quatre again, two black-socked feet slowed the motion to a stop. Duo looked up, although his gaze was still clouded and seemingly directed somewhere to the right of the smaller boy's head. The amethyst eyes seemed to be having trouble focusing on the world around him.  
  
Suddenly, Duo pulled himself out of the chair and flopped carelessly against the occupied windowsill. Quatre blinked and simply watched as Duo bent to rest his chin on his hands. He had no idea how he should be acting around the preoccupied being that leaned next to him. Duo offered a strangely hollow smile as he gazed through the window. "The roses are out... I really hope they stick around." A brief pause, and then he continued. "I'm not really a flower kinda guy, but roses... damn, those really things really get to me..." The amethyst eyes were half-lidded and calm, but there was a bite to the pilot's voice. "How about you Quat', you big on flowers?"  
  
Quatre turned to further examine the boys profile as he gazed outside. "Oh yes - I, I'm particularly fond of lilies myself, but those roses are as elegant and regal as plants come, I think..." The blonde turned back to join in the examination of the gardens once more. They stood in silence for a while, but fortunately it wasn't as uncomfortable as it had been. The small blonde found himself relaxing as he shared the view with his friend. He hoped Duo was deriving some form of enjoyment from this as well.  
  
After a few minutes, the brunette spoke again. "Flowers... heh. Heero doesn't like them. He thinks they're pointless; at least that's what he tells me. He thinks that nature shouldn't be kept simply for "aesthetic admiration"." Quatre continued to stare downwards through the window as his mind searched for the source of the bitterness in Duo's words. The pale skin around Shinigami's plush lips twitched slightly. The blonde sensed something that felt very much like pain radiating from the boy. They stood idle against the glass once more before the lips parted to speak again. "Heero's smart about a lot of things... He just doesn't appreciate pointless stuff like flowers..." He stopped and sighed dejectedly, almost as if recalling a losing battle with the stern-faced pilot of the zero system. Quatre decided that he shouldn't push the matter, but just as he was dismissing the sad sigh, amethyst eyes blinked and Duo's determined voice pierced the air. "You know what, Quatre? I think that Perfect Soldier is wrong..." His eyes shone with an odd gleam that struck Quatre as a little scary. "He can think whatever he damn-well pleases, but I think that anything that makes people happy is worth having around. I mean, shouldn't that be what living is about? Being happy, I mean..." The amethyst eyes dulled once more as he trailed off, and Quatre could be absolutely sure that there were tears forming in them. The nervous feeling took root in the blonde boys chest once more as he stumbled over his own words. "Of course! Well, I mean, to a certain extent... If you're not happy, then there isn't much to live for, er, well, I mean it would make it very hard to live, if you weren't happy, but that's not to say that depressed people don't have reasons to live... Oh, you know what I mean, I'm sure..." Duo didn't seem to realize how uncomfortable he was making Quatre, which was most likely why he could ask his next, even further unnerving question.  
  
"Do you ever think about life, Quat?" The blonde faltered nervously. Why on earth was Duo asking such questions? He decided to be more careful with this answer than he was with his last. "...Well, honestly, I'm not sure." He stared down at his hands and clenched them, nails gently digging into soft palms. "I guess I do... like when I pilot a Gundam, I think about the lives of other soldiers... I think about their lives and whether it is my place to end them. I'm sure we all think about things like that..." He glanced cautiously over at the brunette whose only response was a quite "Oh..." Quatre bit his lip. Had he said the wrong thing? It didn't seem like Duo had gotten the answer he was looking for. The anxious blonde made another stab at conversation. "How about you - do you wonder about things like life?" He immediately regretted saying anything, as he had clearly hit a nerve. Duo continued to direct his gaze outward as if nothing had changed, but Quatre could sense a new level of apprehension arise within the black-clad boy. Then it was gone, shoved beneath the surface once more as Duo threw on a mask of fake amiability.  
  
"Oh not really! I was just wondering, Q-man; I'm surprised you even asked... Besides - you're the angel who would know about that kinda thing!" He winked, a shadow of his old mischievous grin crossing his face. Quatre, who had turned to watch him, blushed unconsciously. //Why does that sound so familiar?// Before he could ask Duo anything else, the brunette smacked him good-naturedly on the shoulder and plastered an even bigger grin on his face. As he bounded out of the room, Duo called out in a singsong voice penetrated by demonic laughter. "Come on Quat - of COURSE I would never think about silly things like *life*!" He stopped at the door and turned abruptly to face the blonde once more. He stood with a disturbing matter-of- fact posture as he called back proudly: "Didn't-cha know that Shinigami only dwells in matters of death?!" There was an almost cruel gleam in his eyes despite the obvious smile. He cackled once more and skipped off down the hallway, humming to himself.  
  
Quatre blinked, slightly bewildered by the whole encounter.  
  
"What just happened there...?"  
  
But before he could dwell on the bipolar nature of their conversation, another realization hit Quatre square in the stomach. "Oh no..." he whispered softly to the room.  
  
//He called me an angel.//  
  
Quatre's eyes grew wide as he stumbled over and sank into his desk chair.  
  
//In his dream an angel kissed him... *I* kissed him...//  
  
The delicate face sunk into upturned hands as Quatre tried to control the panic growing within him.  
  
//He knows.//  
  
TBC  
  
[1] - Yes, the Pen Flip is real. In fact, it's a trademark of the Wichita East Debate and Forensics squad. It can take days of solid flipping before one masters the technique. Chock this one up to boredom and an homage to my Forensics successes (we're ignoring the Debate failures, OK? -_-)  
  
Well, sorry that that hunk of nonsense took almost 6 months to write. Actually, I haven't worked on it much until today, but you know what I mean. I just now started getting time to write, but I won't be completely free until the end of June *kicks summer government* Anyways, sorry for making you wait. The other chapters should come faster since they'll be a lot of fun to write (fun for me, at least -_-;; ) and are planned out with some dialogue already written. I don't really hit writers block until the ninth chapter, and that's still a ways off. Ah, we get pretty heavy on the angst next chapter, but nothing compared to chapter eight. Buahahaha n_n Just hang in there - the angst, self-injury and 2x4 love will come soon enough...  
  
P.S. - If there are any glaring grammatical errors, repetitive word usages, etc. please tell me. I'd like to make reading this story as enjoyable as I can for you guys... 


	6. Confusion

Author: Hilda  
  
Title: Solace  
  
Warnings: shounen ai, fluffiness, annoying nervous ranting; later on, you will be treated to some nice angst, self-injury etc., etc.  
  
Pairings: 2x4 (more so later on)  
  
Disclaimer: I stole Gundam Wing - I am now holding it hostage. You're never getting it back, Sunrise...  
  
Archive: If you are delusional and for some reason want it, sure - just e- mail me and tell me what the heck to do... n_n;;  
  
Author's Note: My fragile psyche doesn't appreciate flames, so if it's not **constructive** criticism, please keep it to yourself...  
  
//blahblah// = random thoughts, because I'm lazy/irregular - they won't be marked like that if they fit into the narration...  
  
[6]  
  
It had been two days since Quatre's encounter with the dark Shinigami. The night of the occurrence, the fragile blonde had sat up for no less than an hour, half expecting Duo to return to him once more. Of course, reflecting back upon it, it was a very stupid thing for him to have done. Obviously Duo wouldn't come back - who would, knowing that their friends couldn't keep to themselves? What made all this worse was the fact that he thought of this with a feeling very similar to bitterness; he couldn't possibly want a repeat of that night, it just wasn't feasible. After all, there was no way that he could be attracted to Duo... was there? It made Quatre's head hurt to think about these mysterious feelings, so he pushed them to the back of his mind, and instead concentrated on reducing the pile of paperwork that continued to replenish itself endlessly. While not a very exciting task, it did allow him escape from the real world, as well as an excuse to avoid the other boys at all costs.  
  
It had rained that morning. The remaining clouds were doing all they could to impede any light from entering Quatre's window. The blue-eyed boy had found it calming as apposed to depressing, something very unusual, as he did not generally cope well with unnecessary darkness. It was not, however, very conducive to his productivity level. Once more, the blonde sat idly in his chair. There were very few new documents to be read and signed, so he didn't concern himself too much with being distracted. There would always be time to catch up. Having given up on the pen flip, Quatre had resorted to sketching small figures on an extra copy of a document. While he rarely drew, he was quite good at capturing expressions and feelings within a few rough lines. No one, except maybe Trowa, had ever seen his drawings, and Quatre usually threw them away. They weren't important enough to him to keep. On this day, the blonde had subconsciously begun to trace the form of a certain braided brunette. Though his face was hidden, there could be no mistaking the graceful lines of Duo Maxwell. There was something very sad about the posture, and Quatre, upon realizing his subject matter, felt a little guilty for drawing Duo like that. It just didn't seem very respectful, for some reason. He was just about to erase a line or two, when something interrupted his solitude.  
  
"Hn." Quatre started and looked up quickly. Heero stared back from the doorway, looking as unsociable as ever. "Why Heero! H-how long have you been standing there?" He asked nervously, shuffling his papers to hide the sketches. It wouldn't do to have his weird preoccupation revealed to Heero. It didn't appear that he saw anything, but that didn't put the blonde any more at ease...  
  
Heero just continued to glare in his typical fashion, ignoring the question. A few more seconds passed before he spoke again.  
  
"You've been hiding out in here." It wasn't a question, or even an observation. The perfect soldier's inflection made the sentence seem more like a challenge, and a threatening one at that. Quatre recovered quickly enough, not wanting to give Heero any ground for some bizarre interrogation. He focused his eyes on cobalt blue and answered calmly.  
  
"Not really - I've just been trying to catch up on the paper work for the corporation, that's all. I've been spending too much time slacking off lately... It's about time I took full responsibility for my late father's affairs rather than juggling them with my sisters. I would think you would understand that need to become more efficient..." He trailed off as he witnessed Heero's expression grow even more dangerous. This couldn't be good...  
  
Still, the owner of the narrowed cobalt eyes remained fixed in the doorframe. Quatre felt strangely as if he was being examined for faults, each potential weakness analyzed and catalogued in that machine like mind... It reminded him of a predator observing its prey before moving in for the kill.  
  
//Oh, this isn't intimidating in the *slightest*//  
  
Quatre was about to speak up and ask Heero what he wanted, but stern words cut him off, as if their speaker could read the blonde's mind. "I need to talk to you. It's about Maxwell."  
  
Pink rose up in pale cheeks before any thought of suppression could be conjured.  
  
//Oh dear...//  
  
The small boy struggled to keep his composure, but was sure that the perfect soldier had picked up on the falter.  
  
"Um, alright... just sit down and we can talk. I can have one of the girls bring tea if you-" "That's not necessary." Heero clipped as he strode over to one of the chairs in the center of the office and sat down. Quatre couldn't help feeling that a teacup's presence would be sorely missed; with tension hanging thick in the air, it was all the blonde could do to keep from wringing his hands or fidgeting in some other way. Resisting the urge to hide behind the tall stack of finished paperwork, the small boy opted for a chair across from Heero.  
  
//It's bad enough I've acted so strangely already. I can't afford to let Heero know I'm afraid of whatever he's going to say...//  
  
The silence between them lasted mere seconds, although the blonde thought they felt more like hours, days even. But Heero, never one to waste his valuable time, began after only a few moments of further intimidation. "You have already observed the change in Maxwell's behavior, I assume." Heero seemed all business as he said it, but Quatre knew that only concern for a loved one could bring the introverted pilot to discuss these things. "Er, yes. He has been acting a little odd but I don-" "Of course you don't know why. If you did, I wouldn't need to speak with you."  
  
This shut Quatre up immediately.  
  
Heero sighed. It seemed as if he was looking for the right words to explain whatever it was that needed explaining. Unfortunately, the blunt nature of the statement that followed indicated that the search was a failure.  
  
"He wants to kill himself. Maxwell wishes to free himself from this world, in order to ease suffering and become the emotionless "Shinigami" he so adores. Or something else equally obscure and illogical-"  
  
This time it was the other boy's turn to interrupt.  
  
"No, Heero, you must be mistaken... that can't be right. Duo wanting to kill himself? He may be acting weirder than usual, but he can't possibly be thinking of such foolish things as that!! It can't be true..."  
  
"Are you suggesting that I do not know Duo?"  
  
Quatre was mildly taken aback by Heero's use of a first name, an effective way to show his personal connection with the braided brunette. Heero continued, un-phased.  
  
"Although I am not inclined to talk about the nature the relationship Duo and I previously shared, I may have to give a few recent details to prove my point." His eyes flashed dangerously as Quatre began to speak again.  
  
"This is something you need to know Winner, you should let me finish." Quatre shifted in his chair, unsure why he felt so agitated at hearing these things. The cobalt eyes gave one more threatening stare before he continued on.  
  
"For the past few months, Duo and I had what some might refer to as a romantic involvement. During this time, I have been exposed to a side of him that rarely sees the light of day. This side is a conflicted one, one that seeks release through the mutilation of ones own body. No doubt, you have noticed Duo's habit of wearing his sleeves rolled up was strangely thrown approximately 14 months ago. This act was not without reason. I have seen scars... many scars, as well as freshly inflicted wounds. I have tried to keep this side of him at bay, but I can only walk in on so many sessions of ritual mutilation before I decide enough is enough. I issued an ultimatum to Duo, that he must stop this behavior for his own good, because I would not tolerate it."  
  
"... But he didn't stop, did he?"  
  
"No."  
  
"So you just left him?!" Quatre's level of anxiety had continued to rise as he was bombarded with information about Duo that no one should have to hear. It couldn't be true, and if it was, how could Heero just leave the brunette pilot? It was too cruel... "What if you were one of the only things holding him together? If all this is the truth, then shouldn't you be trying to comfort him, to help him?"  
  
"Quatre, you must understand. That is exactly why I am speaking to you." Heero looked down in an unexpected display of frustration. He rested his head against his hands, a posture that gave him the look of a defeated old man. It disturbed the blonde to see Heero looking like that...  
  
"I have done all I possibly could for Duo. Unfortunately, "unconditional love" isn't always a possibility, and I'm afraid our friend's heart has drifted over time, as has yours if those drawings are any clue..."  
  
Quatre blushed for the millionth time that week, but couldn't be bothered to try to explain himself. "But that doesn't mean you can just drop him! Rejection hurts, no matter what the circumstance!! Heero, you shouldn't have done that..."  
  
"What I did is not important. I am not asking for your forgiveness... I'm asking for your help. You must understand how difficult this is, Quatre. There is nothing left for me to do. I can no longer reach Duo. You are the only one who can help him now."  
  
//And how the hell does he figure that?!//  
  
Heero sighed again, knowing what Quatre was thinking without having to hear the words.  
  
"You love unconditionally. You have the power to change those around you... and you've become taken with the young man who needs your attention the most. I suggest you "take responsibility"... stop shutting yourself in here to sulk. It's not productive, and Duo may become prey to the fate he wishes any day..."  
  
With that, Heero glanced up to face the speechless Quatre, a resigned look in his cobalt eyes. "It is my hope that you can save him... I am truly sorry that I could not do more. Good luck, Quatre."  
  
And with that he was gone, as quietly as he had entered, leaving the small stunned blonde to try to make sense out of this new information...  
  
//How could I have been so stupid?? How could I not notice...//  
  
Quatre suddenly felt compelled to find Duo and straighten this whole situation out immediately. At first, he wasn't sure where to look, but then recalled their previous encounter, and marched down the stairs in hopes of locating him in the garden. The doors creaked noisily behind him as the blonde strode down the steps and towards the maze of roses that grew on the Winner estate. It was easy enough to find the brunette, but when Quatre arrived, he was surprised by the tension that hung thick upon the air.  
  
There sat Duo, perched listlessly on a stone bench shaded by an ivy-covered trellis. The boy looked pale, and was numbly fingering a blood red rose. But something wasn't right, the color... the color of the Winner roses was never that bold. Quatre's stomach dropped slightly as more crimson dripped from the stem to a small pool on the ground.  
  
It was Duo's blood.  
  
The brunette seemed to sense the other boy's presence, and looked up with clouded eyes. When he spoke, it was with a tone suspended halfway between surprise and hysterics.  
  
"I can't feel it..." His eyes drifted absent-mindedly as Quatre looked on, unsure what to do. Duo sobbed once and crushed the thorny plant within his hands, tears escaping as blood continued to drip steadily from the shaking fists. "I can't feel anything at all..."  
  
Quatre suddenly rushed for Duo, pulling him to the ground and into a hug. Shinigami's eyes widened slightly in surprise, and dropped the rose, reaching instinctively to return the embrace. The blonde was vaguely aware of blood being smeared across his neck as Duo pulled him closer. It didn't matter, though. At that moment in Quatre's universe, nothing mattered more than trying to help his friend...  
  
//What can I possibly do to make this better? How can I fix this when I'm not even sure what's wrong??//  
  
He felt a slight tremor as Duo took is a ragged breath against him.  
  
"Keep me out of the darkness, Quat... please, I don't know what's happening; I don't know what to do... please, please help me to feel..."  
  
This time the tremor originated with Quatre, as tears began to fall from his eyes as well. It wasn't fair that Duo had to go through this... It wasn't fair at all.  
  
//I *will* fix this... No matter what it takes...//  
  
The two boys stayed entwined for ages, time frozen for everyone but those encircled by roses... Duo eventually cried himself into a state of rest, physically exhausted from the sheer strain of his emotions. Quatre eventually fell asleep in the comfortable shade as well, not content to disturb Duo's temporary escape into dreams by attempting to move him. It was evening before he awoke again. A stiff neck and empty arms greeted him, the last things any one really wants...  
  
Shinigami was gone.  
  
Quatre dragged himself up slowly, then sat back on the bench, from which Duo had been so unceremoniously removed. He stared down at his hands and clenched them slowly, nails digging the familiar grooves of his palms.  
  
"Duo... What am I going to do?"  
  
- - - TBC - - -  
  
Author's Note: Ack, that chapter was nothing short of utter crap. I mean, the other chapters were bad too, but I don't think I've ever come so close to achieving this low a quality of awkwardly worded, plot-less shit. It doesn't help that I did little more than a quick proofread for this section... Grrr, I don't even care. I've also realized recently how much I hate this story.... I will continue it, though. I need to get to some kind of a stopping point so that I don't feel entirely useless. In theory, I could end it at chapter 8, but we'll see how things go...  
  
And oh yeah - go Prozac. Too bad it hasn't really kicked in yet...  
  
- Hilda 


	7. FROM THE AUTHOR: A Note Concerning Solac...

A Note Concerning "Solace":  
  
Yes, I'm still alive. School's been pretty time-consuming for me, as it always is, so any free time I have goes towards sleeping, not writing. However, this fic is not dead - at least, not if I can help it.  
  
With the one year anniversary of my entrance into the fanfiction world approaching, I've been trying to schedule in the rest of Solace. This fanfic has gotten far to spread out as it is, and I have no intention of stretching it far past the one-year mark.  
  
So; the further plans for Solace are here revealed: Hate to break it to you, but this piece is going to have a, inconclusive ending. If I go back and decide that I just luuuuurv this fic later on (read: summer), then maybe there will be a sequel. If not... just be glad that I stopped torturing you. There are only two full chapters left to be written of Solace, with a possible epilogue following. The technical climax of the story occurs within these two chapters. Please be patient, and pray that I don't screw this up.  
  
And now, some FAQ:  
  
Q: "Liek, OMG iz Duo d34d????!!!11/?"  
  
A: No, he isn't dead. While I have nothing against deathfics, I sure as hell am not inclined to write them. This misunderstanding was mainly my fault. I used some vague phrasing and didn't explain the scene very effectively. I will do my best to not let that happen again.  
  
Q: "when R u goin 2 get the lemon paart?"  
  
A: Wow, it's amazing that so few people read footnotes. I realize that I've been shaky on my position about writing lemon fic in the past, but I can tell you for sure, SOLACE WILL NOT BE A LEMON. Sorry. I don't want the work I've put into this to get abandoned in favor of a PWP scene. Perhaps a parody fic later, but I intend to try for a serious ending.  
  
Q: "Your fic is sooo awesome!! I love it! Keep writing!!"  
  
A: Okay, so that's not really a question. But I would like to go ahead and thank all those people who left comments like that. Really, I appreciate those things like hell, and they make me want to write more, being the attention whore I am. Please try to stick with me. I write for others when I do stuff like this, and I do my best for you all. I hope that you can have patience and support the decisions I make regarding Solace, as well as any other fanfiction, in the future.  
  
Thank you all for your time. 


End file.
